You find the most interesting things around here to read when you're cleaning. This one somebody sent copied me on a while back, and I thought I'd share:

Ring...ring...
"Hello, Mental Health Hotline."

--If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
--If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
--If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
--If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
--If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
--If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you what number to press.
--If you are manic depressive, it really doesn't matter what number you press, you'll get no attention.
--If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696
--If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the 0 key until an operator responds.
--If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, ph number, social security number, date of birth, and mothers maiden name.
--If you have short-term memory loss, please press nine. If you have short-term memory loss, please press nine. If you have short-term memory loss, please press nine.
--If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk with you right now.