Roxanne Gay for the Win!

I have read some of her essays and fiction, the weekly current news and social media roundup on her  Audacious Substack to stay socially relevant, as well as the WorkFriend column, which at times I didn't much like:  she was always counseling people to ... suck it up, it seems.  

Acknowledging "realities" on the job about working well with others instead of just being right -- standing proudly for truth, justice and the (idealized) American Way! -- or letting your individual freak flag fly...

Roll over and do what you have to do to keep the job, which never seemed good career advice to me... (This homey/homie don't play that way. Not in my nature.)

Today Roxanne Gay announces she's leaving that NYT gig, and indeed comes clean on what was going on in her head, behind the scenes:

We shouldn’t have to suffer or work several jobs or tolerate intolerable conditions just to eke out a living, but a great many of us do just that. We feel trapped and helpless and sometimes desperate. We tolerate the intolerable because there is no choice. We ask questions for which we already know the answers because change is terrifying and we can’t really afford to risk the loss of income when rent is due and health insurance is tied to employment and someday we will have to stop working and will still have financial obligations.

I was mindful of these realities as I answered your Work Friend questions. Still, in my heart of hearts, I always wanted to tell you to quit your job. 

Negotiate for the salary you deserve. 

Stand up for yourself. Challenge authority. 

Tell your rude co-worker to shut up. 

Report your boss to everyone and anyone who will listen. Consult a lawyer. 

Did I mention quit your job? Go back to graduate school. 

Leave some deodorant and mouthwash on your smelly co-worker’s desk. 

Send that angry email to your undermining colleague. 

Call out your boss when he makes a wildly inappropriate comment. ...

Mind your own business, in general. 

Blow the damn whistle on your employer’s cutting corners and putting people’s lives in danger. ...

 No, you don’t owe your employer anything beyond doing your job well in exchange for compensation...

She's got her own publishing label/imprint now, and is an in-demand speaker who travels and has a good family life. I think Roxanne Gay will focus on what you wish more creative people with decent money would do happily in their mature age:  be philanthropic by amplifying instead of silencing the voices of o/Others, not for diversity's sake alone but for a broader inclusion of perspective; "give back" meaning stop worrying about making more for yourself to pass on to your heirs because God knows you've got enough for one lifetime, but use your assets to share of the wealth by investing in other people...  

The more we can keep the money circulating in our country and use our maturity to help other people with our knowledge as well as personal wealth, the happier the country we will live in. I think there's still plenty of talent "at the bottom" but it's often impossible for honest workers in this economic system to thrive at companies that still reward the shareholders over meeting the basic needs of workers who freely advocate for themselves and their rights on the job.

We insure that people who do poorly cannot fail if they have wealth and family connections, and we've become a land of hypocritical posers in many places.  But not forever...  #ChangeIsGonnaCome.

Best of luck to the former WorkFriend, who is honest here in her parting column:  It really won't pay anything worthy in life to Go Along to Get Along.  Be yourself and stand for what is right, even if you often find yourself standing alone.  There's an inner strength in that which people might not like, but often will respect if you are comfortable being true to yourself... social faux pas and all.

Good luck in the next career stage, Roxanne!