I'm usually not one to read stories of parents who lost children, but here is an article worth sharing, from the Superior Catholic Herald:

Making Things Visible,
Libby DuPont

My infant son Peter died on the Feast of Christ the King in 2006. That year, the feast fell on the Sunday following Thanksgiving. We had been out of town visiting family when he began to eat less and appear listless. On the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving we took him into the emergency room at the local children's hospital expecting to get a prescription and return to the festivities. Instead they admitted him, soon to discover he was in liver failure. The team of doctors worked very hard to try to diagnose and treat him, but there was nothing they could do. He died five days later of what we now know is a rare genetic condition.

Because Peter died on the eve the "holiday season", many lamented how hard the timing of everything must have been for us. Don't get me wrong. It was hard. At one point my husband gently told me it was time to stop pouring over the "Baby's First Christmas" sleepers when we were out at stores.

Our secular culture celebrates all of December as the "most wonderful time of the year" where everyone snuggles up before the fire, baking cookies and wrapping presents. According to them, we are supposed to create Norman Rockwell-esque scenes of family warmth and harmony. So, yes, fresh grief is even more striking in comparison. But at Mass, for four Sundays, our souls were mirrored in the hauntingly beautiful liturgies.

Advent is a penitential season of waiting, of longing for the Lord. So many of the readings are from Isaiah, from the heart of a people in exile, crying out to God to save them. And his promise in return: I have not forgotten you.

Advent is a liturgical period of authentic hope. In Advent, we prepare for Jesus' coming at Christmas, both 2,000 years ago, and mystically today. But we also remember that he will come again and there will be a day when every tear will be wiped away, when "no longer will there be an infant who lives but a few days." (Is 65:19-20).

Jesus didn't come to boost the economy through holiday sales. He didn't come to create a great opportunity for families to get together (though, of course, that's a wonderful fruit). He came to suffer for us, that one day our own suffering might give way to an eternity of joy.

So, there is no sense in pretending that December is an easy time for those who grieve. But there is no reason for people in pain to feel out of place in this season. It is precisely to them that it belongs.

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DuPont is a mom, youth minister and graduate student in theology. Visit her blog at www.libbydupont.com.