Just Can't Keep 'em Down on the Farm...

Some people run away.
-- from hard work, cold weather,
the sheer monotony of life.
Some people run for president.
Scott Walker's headed on home
this harvest season. Kill the fatted calf.
"I Destroyed Unions, Peoples, Jobs,
and all I got was this lousy t-shirt?"
------------------------

Alexandra Petri in the Washington Post:

Let’s go through this, phrase by phrase.

“Today”: so far, so good

“I believe that I am being called to lead”: Did Autocorrect change this from “I am being called to leave”?

“by helping to clear the field in this race”: “I am being called to leave.” (Also, “clear the field”? “Helping to clear the field”? Whom is he helping? Is this a Tom Sawyer fence situation where Trump is convincing everyone that “clearing the field” will be more fun for them than it is for him? What field is this? Is this field located in Iowa?)

“so that a positive, conservative message can rise to the top of the field.”: Again, what field has he been watching? Perhaps this explains his performance so far: He has been running for the GOP nomination in a parallel reality where there is a “positive, conservative message” just waiting for Walker to leave so that it can rise to the top of the field.