RIP Howard Hesseman

Dr. Johnny Fever on WKRP, and teacher Charlie Moore on Head of the Class.  He was funny, and real.

* Got kinda tired of packing and unpacking... Town to town, up and down the dial. Maybe you and me were never meant to be, just baby, think of me once in awhile?  I'm at WKRP in Cincinnati ...

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Les: Monster lizard ravages east coast! Mayors in five New England cities have issued emergency requests for federal disaster relief as a result of a giant lizard that descended on the east coast last night! Officials say that this lizard, the worst since '78, has devastated transportation, disrupted communication, and left many hundreds homeless!
Johnny: Monster lizard?

Les: The wire service never lies!

Johnny: Les, the "B" is out on the printer! It's monster blizzard!

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[Jennifer's radio is playing gentle classical music]
Mr. Carlson: Hey, is that us?
Jennifer: No, this is us. [changes stations]
Johnny: Hang onto your brains, fellow babies, this is Doctor Johnny Fever and have I got a contest for you! First prize is, you don't have to die! Second prize, a pocket comb!

Andy: We have a responsibility to our listeners!
Johnny: Right! If I die, who's gonna teach the children about Bo Diddley?

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Andy: You interested in radio?
Little Arthur: Oh, kinda.
Johnny: It's probably because he knows that the first thing you do when you overthrow a government is seize control of the radio station.

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Bailey: Have you noticed that you can't tell what color someone is over the phone?
Venus: I guess not.
Bailey: That's right! Stereotype thinking! I mean, when I heard Black Life Magazine, I was expecting him to be like "Hey, little momma, you tell the dude I'll be here at fo'." But he didn't. He sounded just like you!
Venus: What does she mean "just like me?" I'm black, I'm from the street, I can say "fo'!"
Johnny: That's right, Kingfish. You is, and you does. But the problem is, you sound neutral.
Venus: Neutral. You mean 'white.'
Johnny: Well, don't worry, pal. I've heard you say "upside your head," things like that. Don't worry, you can pass for black.
Venus: I don't want to "pass for black," I want to be black! What the hell am I saying?

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Bailey: You don't like parties? You don't like putting on a silly hat, hiding behind furniture, and generally stripping yourself of every shred of human dignity?
Johnny: Now that you put it that way, I do like that.

They were like the original Office:  Johnny and Venus, Bailey and Herb, Les and Jennifer, Mr. Carlson and Andy...  Here's the holiday classic:

Les: It's a helicopter, and it's coming this way. It's flying something behind it, I can't quite make it out, it's a large banner and it says, uh - Happy... Thaaaaanksss... giving! ... From ... W ... K ... R ... P!! What a sight, ladies and gentlemen, what a sight. The ‘copter seems to be circling the parking area now, I guess it's looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of the helicopter! It's, uh, a dark object. Perhaps a skydiver. Plummeting to the earth from only two thousand feet in the air. A second, a third! No parachutes yet. Can't be skydivers... I can't tell just yet what they are, but - Oh my God, they're turkeys!! Johnny, can you get this? Oh, they're plunging to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! Oh, this is just terrible! The crowd is running around pushing each other! Oh, my goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about! The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Honestly, folks I don't know how much longer... the crowd is running for their lives.
[The radio transmission cuts off.]
Johnny: Les? Les? Les, are you there? Les, isn't there... Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les. Uh, for those of you who just tuned in, the Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with live turkeys. Film at eleven.

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Mr. Carlson: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.