Here in the Real World.

Amba discovers that when you check a loved one into Hospice, generally you've chosen your loved one's final course of action...

Looking over hospice nurse's shoulder at her computer I read: "Goal: safe and comfortable dying." A little startling, not to say oxymoronic.
11:38 AM Oct 14th via web

It's sad, but you hope it can be a good warning sign to others with aging relatives -- even those with dementia whose bodies often remain physically strong -- to craft early on a backup Plan B: a shared caregiving system with family, or even strangers in similar situations, akin to a stay-as-home mother/parent's network should emergency situations or even everyday-sharing routines arise.

As we begin to address the coming demographic storm in this country, I suspect we'll begin to see, as amba has, that government and charity care will be unable to fully cover the gap between "independent living" and "dying hospice care", putting some of the burden back on the immediate family members.

If there has been no long-range long-term-care planning -- no budgetary provision for picking up where government services can't afford to extend -- we will be forced to make the best available choices, which sadly often have real-life consequences.

You hate to see unnecessary suffering -- whether it's a young mother grappling with childcare opportunities, or an aging wife contemplating how to best help her husband.

Life is easier when you have a backup plan.