Other Perspectives. or, Shower Room Ethics.

Consider this.  You're at a public beach, getting changed in the shower area with the door to the outside shut.  It's a hot day, the building is humid (it's an especially ugly building, but nevermind that: irrelevant detail.) It takes a while to peel off a one-piece swimsuit, dry yourself enough to get into fresh clothes.  You're changing with a friend, but that doesn't mean you welcome a stranger's company in the small (door closed, private) room...  (assume there is no lock, but the door is closed.)

Not once, but twice apparently, with no knocking to ask if anyone is inside, an impatient woman, eager to shower -- perhaps convinced that she will be eaten alive by the bacteria that causes swimmer's itch if she does not shower right ... now -- opens the door to check and see if you are done changing.

You're not.  You don't welcome this woman -- nevermind you are a woman yourself -- intruding, twice, on your changing space and expectations of privacy that come with a closed door in a shared public place.  Is shouting, "Shut the door now! We want privacy! "  way-waay out of line?

No, no dear readers.
This is not a personal situation that occured in the course of my Tuesday.  Instead, I read of the encounter from the ... barger-in's perspective.  It read something like this:

We read posted warnings about swimmer’s itch (in case you don’t know, it’s a gross parasite that enters through your skin and causes rashes, swelling, etc etc, sometimes for weeks on end). Tips on how to minimize the possibility of this include rinsing yourself in a shower right after the dip. Ed swam, I waded – so a rinse was in order.

A rather large and ugly building to the side housed a toilet and two shower stalls for each gender. A line was forming at the female end of things and I poked my head inside to see what the hold up was. Close the door! I was told emphatically. It’s crowded enough in here. I closed the door and waited. Minutes passed, nothing. I looked in the door next to the showers – a general toilet area. I poked inside the shower area again and got the same  -- close the door! Two women, not showering at all, were changing. Well okay, but I suggested that, since this was taking a while, they may want to use the space next door, as the line was getting long for a shower. I got the loudest public scream in my face I ever remember getting. Shut the door now! We want privacy! There was spit and fire in her eyes.

I thought about this for a minute. Privacy. Our big entitlement. Mine, mine, not anyone else’s. It struck me that if someone screamed at me in this way in, say, France, I’d have to think that there’s pent up anger seething there, among the people. But then, France doesn’t have closed off (in ugly buildings) shower stalls, so I’m not likely to ever face this problem there.

So I wondered if maybe we are a nation of very angry people. As the media broadcasts our general dissatisfaction (with Congress, with each other), as opportunities for expressing anger flourish (blast away at the person you don’t agree with – it’s your right!), maybe we let it all out at the expense of looking for something less... well, loud?

I am reminded sometimes of a children's book I had for my girls a long time ago -- "Screamy Mimi." We live in times of very many screamy mimis.

I’m allowed to express my opinion! Yes, but must you? Isn’t it like second hand smoke – it so often harms those in the vicinity and it seems more and more that we cannot get away from it, because everyone is smoking angry words of rage?

Hmmm ...
I would suggest, in tightened public spaces, the need to observe generally recognized social norms -- like respecting closed doors with a knock -- makes the response she encountered avoidable.  Wait your turn.  Yep, even if the person ahead of you is a  sloooooow poke.

It's like driving.  You don't honk, get overly close, and suggest through an opened window, say, that the driver might want to consider moving over a lane because -- hello -- other people would like to access the shared public space, with places to go and people to see...

You're likely to provoke something, especially on a hot summer day, when most people understand the need to relax, be patient and just chill...  Budget ahead, in your timeline, for minor delays, instead?  You just might pick the day when Mom needs to shower three children and herself, or maybe just get them changed out of wet suits into dry clothes, and get everything packed up...

It's like breastfeeding.
You might want to insist she do that in the toilet area, but if she chooses to use the common area designed (assume benches) presumably for getting changed after a shower or a swim, well ... you'll get as much time as you need too, when your turn comes.  Bless you if your needs are not so great, and you're in and you're out yourself in a jiffy...

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*I'm not linking (I'm washing a ton...) because I doubt the author writes for attention. 
But there's a missing perspective there, which I wonder if other readers see too, or would be kind enough to simply point out, to do with what what you will.

Perhaps grow a bit, slow a bit, and show respect for others with ... "right of way", regardless of your opinion whether they should be in that position or place, or not.