Tuesday, September 27

On "Cyberbullying".

Sullivan -- eager to get in on the "victimized to death by bullies" meme? -- misses one very basic point here:
namely, Step Away From the Computer.

Julian Sanchez explains how online harassment can add up:
One reason "cyberbullying” may present special problems is that the Internet and social networks dramatically increase the realistic number of people who can pile on a single victim in a short period of time. Each aggressor might rationalize their own part in the distributed bullying as just one or two comments, though the victim perceives an overwhelming assault when these are all combined.

For an analogy in the physical world, we can look to street harassment, which is enabled by the high volume of anonymous, brief public interactions characteristic of urban environments. Some men, of course, engage in vulgar and intimidating speech that anyone would consider harassing in itself. But often, the harassment is a distributed phenomenon.

Many of us would not particularly mind a single stranger yelling out "Hi, gorgeous" or "You look good today!" once every other month—and I’ve seen men (inexcusably obtuse, to be sure, but not obviously malicious) react with genuine surprise when such remarks are not welcomed as compliments, not realizing they’re the tenth person in as many blocks to volunteer a similar comment to the same woman.

I simply don't buy that cyberharrassment is any more dangerous than street-level, or daily classroom harassment.

One of the counselors, who knew and was professionally trained to help the young boy who ended up killing himself, recommended he stay off social media sites. Would that have saved his life? Probably... perhaps not, if indeed depression or other underlying illnesses made his freshman year so hard he saw death as his only way out at the time, thinking like a child.

Point is,
nobody in that child's life -- his parents primarily -- took the counselor's advice and "protected" him from the bullies' hate, directed at and targeted at him.

Step Away from the Computer. Don't reveal too much online, and if you're getting egged on or otherwise harassed, the power is in your own hands. Pull the plug and don't let the child read it. Empowerment.

If you love your kids, and they ever speak of suicide, wouldn't you watch them closely? Wouldn't you take the professional counselor's advice?

No matter how much they want to post online "It Gets Better. Look at Me Everyone!" videos, or no matter what they'll be missing out on in not participating in a pop star's latest release... You're the parent. Do what needs to be done.

Save your kids.
If they're being harassed online, get them out of that environment. Much much easier than passing a federal law to make childhood behavior criminally punishable.

It seems so easy, in retrospect, no?
(Of course, no suicides = no publicity campaigns and no visible "victims" either.)