Tuesday, July 13

"Carry on by yourself. I am going to Nashville."

There must be... 50 ways to leave your lover...

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, I asked a friend to accompany me to a concert for which I offered her a free ticket. (I paid $150 for each one.) The original plan was to travel from New York state to Ohio, which would have been a three-day weekend. She responded with a grateful yes, then instantly changed the location to head in the opposite direction, planned out the entire trip, including the driving, and turned it into a five-day trip!

Well, it happened again. She’s a great travel companion, so I asked if she’d like to go to Nashville with me for a couple of days. It instantly changed to a week, and she invited other people to join us without discussing it with me. Within 90 minutes of bringing up the trip to her, it no longer includes Nashville! It’s like she waited for me to invite her to do something just so she could change it to something she wanted to do.

It really hurts that she oversteps my invitations. If I continue to plan the trip, including everything she wants to do, we will be gone for weeks. What can I say or do to make her see I really wanted to go to Nashville? — DERAILED IN NEW YORK

DEAR DERAILED: Here’s what to say to this presumptuous person:

”The itinerary you have planned isn’t what I had in mind at all, so carry on by yourself. I am going to Nashville.” And then follow through. Bon voyage!